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College Students: You Deserve It (That’s What Your Parents Told You, Right?)

July 25, 2013

I’ll never understand why universities can’t sign an enrollment contract stating that tuition will not increase for a student as long as he is in school and will graduate within 4-5 years. It’s an insane proposition to enroll in a university and agree to pay one tuition rate one year, then be expected to pay a higher tuition the next year and possibly and even higher rate until he graduates. Worse, government loans won’t be nailed to to a flat rate, so the student gets hit with a double whammy: increased interest on a student loan on an increase in tuition.

On the other hand, I read about Harvard graduates who end up with insane college loans upon graduation, then expect the government to bail them out. If the government forgives these Ivy League loans, then the student should be required to relinquish his degree and anything that bears witness to his having attended the school.

Why? Because you know darned well that as soon as the economy picks up, they’ll head to their respective jobs as investment bankers, neurosurgeons, and company CEO’s and begin to recoup that loan money. If their loans are forgiven, then I should be reimbursed for the bucks that my parents shelled out many years ago— with compounded interest.

 It’s a good possibility that student loans will be forgiven to some degree. That’s why I encourage every college-bound hopeful to apply to the most prestigious, expensive school he can get into, apply for loans (to live on and to pay for that new Audi) and scholarships (to pay for tuition), then whine and cry that he can’t pay back the loan. This is what the current generation expects.The current college-age generation has grown up to feel entitled, guilt-free, responsibility-free, and deserving of everything without working for it.

Princes and Princesses: take advantage of it. Your parents have bent over backwards to make you feel as though the world is your oyster and you are its pearl. Your narcissistic complexes will eventually bring every employer to his knees to beg you to put in at least part of your forty-hour week.

But you won’t be expected to. Your parents will write a note for you excusing you from going to work for having attended your eighth summer break in Destin, Florida or Aruba since you graduated from college.



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