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Anonymous University Professor Wishes Some of You a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Ho! Ho! Ho!

January 1, 2013

 I got a call from a student on Christmas Eve who wanted to know his grade. He didn’t understand why he didn’t receive his grade since all grades had to be turned in by last Friday. He also said that he knew that I turn my grades in early, so his grades should have arrived early. I told him that I didn’t remember his name, his paper or his grade. The title didn’t sound familiar, and he probably came to class only to drop off papers.

I told him that he probably received a B, provided that his annotated bibliography was created properly, his paper supported this thesis, and if his grammar resembled English grammar.

I thought that he was dying when he screamed that I never told the class that he needed to include an annotated bibliography with his paper. He wanted to know if I gave out written instructions to that effect. I assured him that I did. They were given out on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. He swore that he was in class that day, but I know that only one student showed up for class that day, and it certainly was NOT him.

I then informed him that all citation errors would lower his grade by a half of one grade and that most students made at least two citation errors per paper. When I told him that the Annotated Bibliography could be worth as much as two grade points, he slammed the phone down.

Merry Christmas, Beavis.

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