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Anonymous Professor: UProf Goes on Christmas Vacation

December 17, 2012

I an glad this semester is over. I’m glad when most semesters are over, but the fall semester always seems the worst. We had the usual end-of-year faculty meeting that went on forever and then the yearly faculty party in the department and then the faculty party at one of the faculty member’s house. This year it was at the home of the bachelor grad fac member who’s in his forties and isn’t married. As far as anyone knows, he’s never been married. He earned his BA here and his MA as well, then went off to a better school for his Ph.D. He’s been insufferable ever since. I don’t think he’s gay. It’s just that he has a personality that seems to repel women. In fact, he seems to repel men. And small children and dogs too.This year he got lucky, though. He took up the company of a “non-traditional” graduate faculty assistant who’s a single mother of three. Though the rules forbid a teacher and a student to carry on like this, this idiot feels that he’s above the rules. He acts as though he’s above everyone and everything. I don’t think anyone really cares, not even the dean (who got into a really nasty lawsuit after a liaison with his secretary went sour not long ago). I don’t know how this woman managed to get an assistant teaching position, but she’ll probably get sucked into the machine, then get automatically renewable three-year employment contracts.

If there’s any good part of any semester, it’s the new hires, especially the young ones who engage in idiotic transparent political posturing. One guy came onboard a few years ago. He’s gay. In the beginning, he let everyone know it. As soon as he was allowed to create his own curriculum, he set up courses on Queer Theory. So he’s our Official Gay Professor.


Forty years ago or so, there was the same phenomenon with African American Literature teachers. It took a lot longer for those folks to settle down. I’ve got nothing against African American literature. It’s the yo-yos who taught  it at first. One of them claimed to have roomed with Angela Davis. That gave her street cred with the kids who came to class wearing paramilitary fatigues, berets and sun glasses. Now, that story doesn’t go too far with the students who take her classes because they don’t know who Angela Davis was and they don’t care. They come to class wearing not black berets but backwards baseball caps, huge sneakers and baggy sports clothing. They take the class for the easy grade.

Times have changed.


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